But two of my classes focus on a passion of mine: forensic psychology, and the role mental health issues play in the criminal justice system.  In the former I’ll be profiling a serial killer or rapist, in the latter class I’ll be playing the role of Public Defender to a depressed psychotic 16 yr. old boy with a personality disorder who molested a younger boy, but thought they were “just playing.”  I was assigned this role and will do my best, though I’m sure it won’t be popular.

I came up with a fun idea for the Coordinating Seminar presentation.  We’re going to film the nun’s story as a news broadcast; the co-anchors will be interviewing the nun and the bishop.  This is a more interesting way of presenting that issue to the class.  While the news broadcast is playing, the father (played by me) and daughter will watch it together, then get into their fight afterward.  From there the other group members will present the relevant psychological information and reasons for our choice of intervention.  We’ll wrap it up with the counselor and daughter meeting and implementing the intervention.  The prof encouraged us to get creative, so there you go.  I’ll slick back my hair, wear a mustache, sideburns, and a tie (in addition to other clothing, of course!), and just have fun with it.  The presentation is supposed to last 45-60 minutes.  I figure the skits will eat up some time.

In addition to school, I had to return to the doctor last week.  I have been diagnosed with gastroparesis.  In essence this means that my stomach (the organ, not the abdominal region) muscles aren’t working properly; my stomach isn’t emptying the way it should.  This is causing some of the pain I’ve been experiencing, and the fact that I can skip meals without feeling hungry.  There are other symptoms as well, but I didn’t get the one I wanted: weight loss.  Darn my body’s inability to react like other people’s!  I have to make some dietary changes because of my inability to digest some things.  Unfortunately, the only medication for the problem that has been okayed in the U.S. is Reglan.  This med has really nasty side effects, and is what triggered the major depressive episode I’ve just emerged from.  I’ve informed the doctor that I won’t take it.  I was told I have no choice.  I said “Oh yes I do, and  I’m not taking the Reglan.”  The upshot is that I’ll take it only when the pain is really bad, and only for as long as it takes for the medication to take effect.  I categorically refuse to take this on any sort of regular basis.  Stomach pain I can live with, suicide I cannot.  Obviously.

So that’s been my life in a nutshell.  School is going to be a challenge, but at least I’m interested in the subject matter.  I also have a name for my health problem, and a course of action for treating it.

Things progress.

There, I have done my duty by you.  On to more piddling matters-

My first Coordinating Seminar met last night, and it’s going to be every bit as difficult as anticipated.   We have all signed up for one of three group projects, answering a comprehensive question that demonstrates our knowledge of psychology.  My group has already bumped up against it’s first problem: how to get 7 women together in the same place at the same time in order to get any work done!  Our question deals with how to handle the following situation:

I’m a school psychologist who met briefly with a 13 yr. old girl 3 years ago to help with some adjustment problems.  Now she is 16 and has come to me because she had a major fight with her father.  The fight was over the (real life) excommunication of a nun.  The nun was an administrator of a Catholic hospital who allowed an abortion to be performed on a woman who would, along with the fetus, die if it wasn’t performed; the fetus was 11 wks. old.  The woman was a single mother, the sole provider for her 4 other children.  She was so sick she couldn’t be moved to another hospital in order to have the procedure.  Given the extreme circumstances, the nun allowed the abortion, and was excommunicated by her bishop as a result.

In this scenario, the daughter and father fought bitterly over the issue.  The daughter feels that her relationship with her father is irreparably damaged as a result.  What should I, as a therapist, do?  Knowledge of physical, mental, and moral development should be displayed.  Neurobiology, family dynamics, religious beliefs, canonical and federal laws, etc. should be factored in.

I have to write a paper on this as well as take part in a class-long presentation.  Our group is the first one up, so we have to get this done by Oct. 4 I think.  I already have to drive in to school on Sunday to meet up with the other women.  Coupled with the extra day of classes I’m taking, I predict way too much driving this semester!  In addition to the group project, there’s a 7 page paper to write, present to the class, and for which I need to create a poster board session.  Chapter readings must be completed and newspaper clippings pertinent to the chapters must be brought in every week.  I’m tired already.  On the plus side, I know almost everyone in the class, including the prof, and class time should be fun.

I also had my Psychology of Women class this morning.  There will be lots of reading, and some films to watch.  We’re required to bring bulleted points from the chapters and films to demonstrate that we’ve done the readings.  We also have to give a 5 min. presentation on a subject, in my case, women in film.  This would be easy enough but, wouldn’t you know it, this is also meant to be a group project!  At least there are only 3 of us, so it should be easier to coordinate.  A lot of the material is stuff that I’m already familiar with, and I wouldn’t be taking this course if it wasn’t required.  I don’t know most of the other women in class- they seem to be largely underclassmen who are getting the course out of the way.  I think I know one other person.  I’m sure this will change as the semester continues.  At any rate I get along with the prof, who I’ve had in the past.

My Forensic Psychology class meets for the first time in about an hour.  I’m really looking forward to this one.  I’ve never had a class with the prof, but I got to know her a little last semester for other reasons, and she seems nice enough.  I’ll have more to say about this, and my other course, tomorrow or the day after.

Until then, I’ll leave you in peace.

At least the structure of going to school should help me re-emerge from isolation.  I really am a lot better than I was, I just haven’t been ready yet to be social on or off line.

On tap this semester in addition to CS:

~ Psychology of Women

~ Forensic Psychology

~ Criminal Justice and Mental Health

In the meantime, I am locked in my depression.  Those who have come into contact with me over the past couple of days have noticed, which is a bit sad really because I’m usually much better at hiding it.  I just haven’t had the mental energy, to be honest.  Until very recently I’d been taking much better care of myself and the house, but that has swiftly fallen by the wayside, one thing at  a time like dominoes.  I’m disconnected.  I can’t find my inner spirituality, which usually offers a measure of peace and comfort.  I’m disconnected from everyone and everything.  I can’t even read anymore.  I sit and stare into space, often turning the television on so that it at least looks like I’m doing something.  I’m not.  Writing this has been an effort, but I’m trying to make myself do something.

I know this will pass.  It’s already begun to, or I wouldn’t be able to sit here now.  In the meantime, I’m empty and a little sad.

And that, I suppose, is what I wanted to say.

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yet has such a passionate heart hidden within

I’m a registered voter who never misses an election day.  Whether my single vote makes a difference or not, it’s my civic duty and, the way I see it, if I don’t vote, I lose any right to complain about the results.  The thing is this: I’m neither Republican nor Democrat; I’m Unaffiliated.

This shouldn’t be a problem.  Why should I identify solely with one party or the other when I don’t agree with either party line?  There was a time when other candidates were given a voice.  For over a decade now, though, parties other than The Big Two have been pushed aside, denied a part in debates.  In essence, they’ve been silenced or dismissed.  That, however, is another blog post.  What I want to address here is the position the current system places Unaffiliated voters in.

Because of the way the current system is run, we are given two candidates to choose from, but have no say in who those candidates will be; we are stuck with whomever the Democrats and Republicans nominate.  There may be someone we like for the job, but that person may well not make it past the primaries, and we have nothing to say about it.  We aren’t allowed more than two serious candidates, and we’re not given any say in who those candidates will be.  We are not allowed to vote.

On one hand, I can see their point.  If the person is going to represent “Democrats” or “Republicans,” those parties want to choose who that person will be.  It makes sense.

On the other hand, if the rest of us are to be saddled with Either/Or, we should be given some say as to who that Either/Or will be.  I should not be forced to register as a Democrat if I like a Democratic primary nominee, then forced to change parties in order to vote for a Republican nominee another year.  I won’t.  And what should I do if I like a Dem for one elected position, and a Republican for another?  I know many people who are, at heart, Unaffiliated, but who have been forced to register with a party in order to vote.  They often don’t stick with the party in the long run, nor are they guaranteed to vote along party lines; the parties cannot count on their votes anyway.

This is stupid.

Primaries should be run like the regular elections, with everyone allowed to cast their votes for primary nominees of either party.  Then whoever wins can start campaigning in earnest, and everyone can make their decision from amongst the winners.  At least then nobody is disenfranchised simply because they won’t be forced to pretend to something they’re not.  The system, as it stands now, does everyone- Unaffiliated, Republicans, and Democrats- a disservice.

has lodged in my throat.  Not a fun feeling.  But I promised to inflict more photos on you, so here you go.   I took a lot of pics of various monkeys or monkey-type critters.  There were tons, and they were amazing.  Their cages were made of mesh, though, which made getting good shots difficult.  The upshot is that I only have two photos to share, but I like them.  The second one was taken through a thick window, so I’m kind of proud of the way it turned out.  Enjoy, or not, as you like:

This one had an attitude, you could just tell.  I liked that about him.

Through a smudged glass darkly

I took a lot of great pictures.  This one is my new desktop wallpaper:

The following are from the Butt-Shot Series taken for Emily.  We are nothing if not immature:

There are, of course, many other shots not only of these animals (from the front and side, not just the back), but of others as well.  You can also expect photos from the beach and the boardwalk, however I thought these would do nicely to start off with.  They demonstrate what a great vacation we had!