First off, I hate wearing jeans.

Well, I hate wearing anything that isn’t lounge wear right now.  Anything that pushes into my belly becomes increasingly uncomfortable as the day goes on.  Of course, this could work to my advantage when it comes time to drive home; the pain will keep me awake.  With less than 3 hrs. last night, and less than 9 combined the two nights before, I’m barely functioning.  Oh how sweet my slumber will be tonight!

Got near perfect grades on those papers I wrote post-surgery while zoned out on percocets.  Apparently not even being drugged can keep me down.   I’m an awfully smart person, but this is balanced out by my total lack of sense.  And my brain hurts.  I don’t mean I have a headache; I mean my brain feels like it’s on overload.  I need someone to Hoover out the cobwebs and reboot my synapses, Please and Thank-You.

I’m really hungry, too, and hours away from a meal.  My last class of the day is about to begin, but as soon as I get out I’m going home and grabbing a bite to eat.  Assuming I don’t attack the first thing I see in the meantime out of desperation.  Aren’t you glad you’re reading this from a safe, virtual distance?

I don’t know.  There are other things to tell you but I think they’ll keep until the next time.  I guess they’re even less important than the drivel I’ve just shared here.  Imagine that.

Long day.  Vertical line on LCD TV that’s been there since shortly after warranty ran out got on my nerves for the last time.  After research online taught me that the only thing to do was replace the panel (which, according to complaints I read, wasn’t really a solution because then those went as well), I scouted until I found a new t.v. at Best Buy & ordered it.  Randy and I were going to finance it, were accepted, but then I accidentally closed the window that gave us his new BB card number.  I emailed them and they told me we had to call a certain number.  After going through the automated system and talking to a rep, answering questions, they then told Randy they couldn’t tell him the number because it’s against policy.

Then why did they tell us to call, and make him jump through all of those hoops?

In the end I put it on my credit card; it should be here Thursday or Friday. Fingers crossed it’s better than the last!  But in case it isn’t, I bought a 2 yr. extended warranty with a Geek Squad service plan.

After I got through that, I spent the next several hours sifting through almost 500 articles for a research paper.  That was fun.

Took the steri-strips (from my surgery) off of my belly.  It didn’t hurt, yet managed to leave me feeling queasy.  Just… yuck.

That was my day.  How was yours?

I just came from breakfast with none other than LazyGal herself!  We’ve known each other online for 10-12 years now, haven’t really lived all that far apart, and yet we only just now met in person.  She brought along her “bodyguard,” otherwise known as “Thing One,” a very friendly, funny guy.  It was a real pleasure to meet him and get to know him as well.  They’re off on vacation and were passing through.

We were comfortable immediately (at least I was) and lingered long over breakfast, sharing stories and laughing.  I had such a good time!  It was even worth getting up at 6 AM to drive out to meet them, and that’s really saying something.  I ate things that were bad for me, but stuck to tea at least; sadly, my body isn’t ready for coffee yet.  Then, before I knew what he was doing, Thing One picked up the bill.  So sweet!

Here’s hoping they have a wonderful time on their vacation, and that we can meet up again soon!

(BTW, I’m still envious of her. I met her when she was out here in California a couple years ago. Someday we may actually meet face to face as well…)

Here’s a little something for all of my friend who love to read, and especially for those who have chosen to makes books a part of their life’s work:

“Be a little careful about your library. Do you foresee what you will do with it? Very little to be sure. But the real question is, What it will do with you? You will come here and get books  that will open your eyes, and your ears, and turn you inside out or outside in.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have been doing a lot of reading lately, most of it relating to schoolwork.  While some of that was interesting, the majority of it hasn’t been.  Nor has the accompanying writing been particularly enjoyable.  I have managed to sneak in a couple more Percy Jackson & the Olympians books (with another on the way as I write) and, while I could have used my time more productively, I’m glad I didn’t.  I’ve needed the mindless escape into a fantasy world that requires nothing more of me than a suspension of disbelief.

I am coping with depression and anxiety at the moment.  This is nothing particularly new, and it will pass.  It always does.  In the meantime I suspect I’ll continue to  do the things I want to do rather than the things I need to do.  This doesn’t bode well for the next couple of weeks as assignments become due, but I just can’t worry about that right now.

Right now I think I’ll watch a movie while waiting for  The Battle of the Labyrinth to arrive.  Which probably won’t be until tomorrow, so it had better be a long movie.  *G*

~ The nice thing about light sabers is that they cauterize the wounds so you don’t bleed out.

~ I don’t think it’s right that SciFi is thought to be a guy thing, or a nerd thing.  I’m not a nerdy guy.  I’m a really super cool chick.  The fact that I had to point that out, however, might negate that statement.

~ If my husband died before me, he wouldn’t go into the light; he wouldn’t leave me.  That could become awkward when I eventually fall in love again.  It would be one very un-sexy threesome.

~ Wheezy is actually the Sith Lord in disguise.  You’ve been warned.

~ I’d like it very much if Scotty would beam me up already.  I’ve been down here awhile.

~ Can’t wait for V to start up again.

~ I’ve recently begun to watch Eureka, though it’s been around for a few seasons now.  Great show!  Anyone else watch it?

Nanu nanu folks.  Gotta finish watching Revenge of the Sith before I go back to writing research papers.

The Academy Awards and Farrah Fawcett:

The Academy’s excuses are lame.  First they claim that they didn’t have the time to include everyone, so Farrah was cut.  But at the end of the homage they showed an additional series of clips of the same people they had just honored; that time could have been used to include other celebs such a Farrah.  Don’t tell me they didn’t have time.  Then they claimed that she was better known for television; she should be remembered at the Emmy Awards instead.  That’s true, but she had won awards – including a Golden Globe – for her film performances.  Surely that qualifies her for inclusion more than Michael freakin’ Jackson!  How exactly does a musician qualify for an Academy Award memorial?  By their definition, he should be honored at the Grammy Awards, not the Academy.

They don’t even have the decency to apologize.  It’s total crap.

Corey Haim/Brittney Murphy/Dr. Drew/Judgmental People:

Corey Haim died yesterday, and immediately the LAPD declared that it was an OD without bothering to investigate.  The same thing happened with Murphy.  Yes, these celebs had terrible histories, especially Haim.  Definitely Haim.  How unprofessional of the police, however, to make their opinions public as though their opinions were fact.  In reality,  Haim had flu-like symptoms before he died, just like Murphy who, it turned out, had pneumonia.  According to all reports from those close to him, he had been doing well.  He was healthier overall (normal illness aside), had a new girlfriend, had some projects in the works; his career was about to be jump-started again.  Everyone said that he was happier than he’d been in a long time.  According to insiders he had been getting clean and working with a new doctor for a couple of weeks, getting weaned off of the drugs that would have been dangerous to cut cold turkey, and using different medications to control problems such as anxiety.  They say that while there were 4 prescriptions recovered from Corey’s room, they had barely been touched.

His mother revealed today that initial autopsy findings show that Haim had an enlarged heart and fluid in his lungs.

While it is entirely possible that drugs were involved with his death, I think it sucks the way his death is being treated, everyone making assumptions and judgments.  One person on FB said, and I’m only paraphrasing a very little, “Who cares? He had it coming.  I have more important things to do, like my laundry.”

What a cavalier dismissal of a life, and it was by no means the only one of its kind.  I get it if you don’t care, but then why is it necessary to say anything at all, let alone something so cold and cruel?

Then Dr. Drew, whom I detest, went on air essentially blaming Corey for his death because Corey refused to come on Dr. Drew’s show.  Right.  Because the only way to get clean and sober is to expose oneself on national television for strangers’ entertainment and Dr. Drew’s ratings.  I’d love to give that man the good swift kick in the ass he so richly deserves.

We jump to conclusions, pass judgments, and dismiss lives so quickly.  Remember how, after Murphy’s death, everyone was blaming her husband and her mother?  Those poor people had just suffered the most terrible loss, then had to cope with the public’s suspicions.  What a hateful, hurtful way to treat a grieving family!  I just bet that if Corey’s mother wasn’t battling breast cancer the public would be blaming her, too.

How we do love to be judgmental and self-righteous.

Don’t believe me?  Just look at this post.  It’s just dripping with it.

I’ve been in a bad head space lately.  As crazy as this probably sounds, I keep thinking that nobody likes me, or that people are sick of me, or that people are mad at me.  I don’t know why, and I realize it’s most likely just paranoia, but I’m now going to do something I never do: ask for help.

If you like me (and I hope you do), could you please just tell me so?  I’m not fishing for compliments- you don’t have to tell me why you like me.  I just need a little reassurance that you do.  I know I’m going to regret posting this as soon as I do it, but I just need to.  I’m actually weepy at the moment.

This is so ridiculous.

And, if you are upset with me, could you please email me and tell me so?  I’d like to make it right if I can.

I’m recovering, not feeling the best.  So here’s a pretty picture for you to look at instead.

Is it possible to anthropomorphize a gallbladder?  Because I believe I’ve done so.  My gallbladder only has hours to live, and it’s my fault.  I’ve authorized its death.  Sure, it’s caused me pain.  But all loved ones have the potential to hurt us from time to time, don’t they?  I’m a cruel, cruel woman who is about to be one internal organ lighter.

Here’s my horoscope for today:

Despite a somewhat stressful morning, you can expect a successful conclusion to almost anything by this evening. Your energy builds to a crescendo that feels exactly right for you.

Well there you have it.

RIP gallbladder.  You’ll be missed.

I’m still kicking around, just had a couple of rough days.  I did well on all of my midterms, so that’s done then.  I’ve still got to rewrite that paper but I’ll finish that up this weekend.  I’ve filled out the paperwork and paid my dues to become a member of Psi Chi.  School is on track.  Physically I’ve felt really crappy, but that doesn’t seem to be anything new.

I had to take a routine stress test on Wednesday morning- the doctors wouldn’t accept my survival of schoolwork in lieu of walking on a treadmill – and passed that alright.  Well duh.  If I can survive 3 midterms and a paper while undergoing medical testing, I don’t think walking on a treadmill for 7 minutes will kill me.

I had to have an upper endoscopy this afternoon and am finally really waking up from it.  It didn’t take long, wasn’t painful.  Basically they put you under and send a scope down your throat to take a look at your upper digestive tract, and send the little thingy down to take a biopsy.  My throat is a little sore from the tube and I have it in my head that I can feel where they clipped for a biopsy, but that’s probably my imagination.    Still, it wasn’t bad.  I’ll have the biopsy results sometime next week.  In the meantime, other than some redness, the endoscopy didn’t turn up anything.  So far, so good.

Anesthesia is a trip, isn’t it?  The stuff doesn’t bother me itself, but I always worry about what I might say while under it.  Apparently this time I, um, expressed a desire to spend some, er, quality time with my husband.  Thankfully he was the only person in the room when I said it!    You should have seen him laugh when he told me about it later, though.

Cheers folks!

I struggled all day yesterday writing a critique of a (truly fascinating) research article that was due today.  Despite my interest in the topic (how word choice of questions can “lead” witnesses or disrupt their memories of events even when time has passed) I just couldn’t write the review.  My mind kept wandering, skipping from one thing to another.  I swear it was like I had ADD.  I also had some questions about formatting the paper, but the prof wasn’t available; she doesn’t check her email very often and never checks her voicemail.  The upshot was that I pulled my first all-nighter of the semester and had a pretty crappy paper to show for it.  I also have a take-home midterm scheduled in that class this week as well.

So I show up for class today, barely able to hold my head upright, and she starts collecting the take-home Midterms.  What?!  What doesn’t she collect? The article review!  Ugh!

It turns out that during class last Thursday (I was out sick) it was decided that making us have both a paper and a midterm due the same week was too much.  So she gave everyone the midterm to take over the weekend at their convenience and which was to be handed in today, and changed the due date of the review to next Tuesday.

And she never let me know.

The bad news is that I’m sooo sleep deprived right now (only got 4-5 hrs. of sleep/night this past week for various reasons), and I only have until Thursday to take the midterm.

The good news is that I now know how the review needs to be formatted and have an excellent rough draft to work from.  I should be able to turn in my final draft along with my midterm over the next couple of days and be done with the class for a couple of weeks (surgery next week and spring break the following).

Better yet, that same class is cancelled Thursday morning (it’s my 8 AM class) and as of right now it doesn’t look like I’ll have to come in for the following class either.  So I can sleep in that day and just show up to turn in that stuff and take my Islam midterm Thursday afternoon.

Hurray for that I say!