Today’s post brought to you by: love triangles.
I’m sick of them.
As of now I have read 93 books since the beginning of December. Some series blend into one another, their plots or characters too similar. But the most egregious overuse of plot devices by far, imo, is the love triangle. As anyone who has ever been in any sort of long-term relationship can tell you, there are enough problems to overcome in a loving, committed relationship without dragging in a third party.
First of all, if you find yourself that attracted to someone you’re not with, recognize that there is something wrong with your current relationship. Talk it out with your partner and see if it can be fixed before getting entangled with a third party. If, on the other hand, you feel that this new person of interest really is for you, then pull on your Big Kid Britches and break the hell up with the person you’re with before moving on to the next one.
Usually, however, the characters aren’t actually in a relationship yet. Someone must choose between two options, rather like deciding whether to select the chicken or the fish dinner from a wedding menu. You really love chicken cordon bleu, but the description of the salmon dish sounds somehow intriguing. What to do? What to choose? Agonize, agonize…
Please. Just pick one and move on. And no, having both is not an option no matter how much you whine about the impossibility of going without one or the other. I recently read a series in which it took the (amazingly selfish on so many levels) heroine 5 freakin’ books to choose between two men! The excellent plot of the story (because there actually was a story to be told outside of her screwed up love life) was frequently lost because, let’s face it, she was an idiot.
Personally, if I was one of the two poor schmucks awaiting the decision, I wouldn’t wait too long before I’d walk away. Not being a fish or poultry dinner, that’s a viable alternative for me. If someone is so uncertain whether they want to be with me or with someone else, then I don’t really want to be with said person. I can understand loving someone and trying to be with them, but at some point self-respect needs to kick in. If the one I love is running around kissing (at the very least) another person and giving me the lame excuse of “I’m so confused. I love you both and just can’t choose!” then I think it’s time for me to make the choice a little easier for all involved by finding somebody who loves me in return without all that dithering and angst.
All of this is to say that I’m fed up with love triangles. They distract from the real story and aggravate the hell out of me. I’ve reached the point where I skim through a book’s overview to determine whether there is a hint of triangle in the book before I’ll buy it, no matter how compelling I find the description otherwise. I’m not ruling out the possibility that I will read it at some future date, but if I read one more right now I think my head will explode. They’ll be cleaning Aravis brains from my living room for minutes, all this love triangle crap having shrunk my brain to the point where there probably won’t be much left to tidy up beyond that.