Just Because

I’m having one of those days when I feel like I need to say something, but don’t know what it is that I want to say.

I’m coming down from a manic episode triggered by a stressful semester.  I just saw my prescribing therapist who offered to put me on a low dose of klonipin to deal with anxiety and bring me back from manic episodes, but I turned her down.  It isn’t necessary at the moment.  If things change, I’ll consider it, but I don’t want to go on any medication I don’t absolutely need.  She also made me step on a scale, though I told her I’ve been maintaining my weight.  She’s never done that before.  So I got on the scale, demonstrating that I’m telling the truth.  She never came right out and said that she was checking to see if I have an eating disorder, but I read between the lines.  Kudos to her for trying to be thorough, but it’s a digestive, not eating, disorder and I’m taking care of myself. *sigh*

I’ve begun this summer session, and so far it isn’t bad.  I’m getting cranky, though, and am trying to turn that around.  I know that I’m in danger of sliding into depression in reaction to the manic, and I can see it happening.  I’m feeling argumentative, too.  Right now I’d contend that Manson was a misunderstood boyscout just to be contrary.

And no, I in no way believe that Manson was a boyscout.  See what I mean?

It would seem that while I felt like I needed to say something, I had nothing really to say.  With that realization, I guess I’ll sign off again.  Until next time, adieu.

 

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2 Responses to Just Because

  1. Leah says:

    Hang in there, lady! Fight! Stay aware!

    I’m sure it is tough coming off the adrenaline needed for the busy sememster, and then you’re exhausted, but then you have to get pumped up for summer session…that is a lot going on! But you a very talented woman and bet that you can juggle…

    (hugs!!!!)

  2. Aravis says:

    Thanks Leah! *HUG* It wasn’t adrenaline, but a manic episode related to the bipolar. There are similarities, though. All of us were wiped out by this past semester, and none of us are happy that we didn’t really get break. We won’t get much of one between the summer and fall, either: 2 weeks! Hopefully this semester will be more relaxed than last. It’s one less class, with fewer major assignments. Still, there’s enough to be a little stressful at a time when I can’t handle much of that. I’ll get through it, no fear. I may not always be happy about it, but I’ll survive. :)

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