Some of you may recall that I’m half convinced that I’m being monitored by the feds since al Neda hacked into my website a few years ago to broadcast its terrorist newsletter. I reported it and worked with the FBI, allowing them to track traffic until the group cottoned on and hacked into some other oblivious person’s website instead. I was incensed not only because of the newsletter, but also because of how it would reflect on me. At the time this happened, Homeland Security was building up steam and we were warned that our reading material would be monitored if they so chose. To make matters worse, one of my grandmothers is Lebanese, therefore I’m of Middle Eastern descent. So, at the time:
– I had al Neda (unbeknownst to me) broadcasting from my site
– I had a Lebanese grandmother
– I was reading An Unexpected Light: Travels in Afghanistan by Jason Elliot (good book, btw)
Now, I don’t care how much they reassured me, I’d be a fool to think that they weren’t monitoring me a little as well at the time. I joke about it to this day, claiming that my house is bugged, etc. I don’t actually believe it, but it’s a funny thought, probably because I’m fairly certain that it isn’t true.
But now I wonder. Bear with me here a moment…
In the last week I’ve had two zits, both quite obvious when you look at me. One cleared up, but the other lingers. It isn’t a whitehead. Oh no, nothing so simple. It’s one of those large, painful bumps so big that you can’t help but see it without even looking in a mirror because it’s high on the cheekbone. As a woman with makeup close to hand, I can cover up the redness, and it is red. It could surely outshine Rudolf’s nose on his best, glowiest day. But though I can conceal the color, I can’t conceal its existence. The best I can hope for is that people will miraculously believe that it’s a mole that has cropped up overnight. A nice, innocuous mole that fortuitously blends well with the rest of my skin tone. It could happen, right?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Now, this is the first I’ve blogged about this. I haven’t even mentioned it anywhere online before this moment. Or offline, for that matter. I mean, who would? So then, how did the spammers know to slam me with hundreds of acne-related spam comments?
The feds must have told them.
While the number of acne spams has finally begun to subside (and oh how I wish the pimple itself would do the same!), I have a new concern. Because now the spam is trying to help me deal with my prostate cancer.
What do they know that I don’t?